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You are watching: You won t succeed on broadway lyrics

Have friend heard that this "Broadway?"Yes, sire, and also we don't stand a possibility there!Why not?Because Broadway is a an extremely special place, to fill with really special people, world who can sing and dance, often at the exact same time! They are a various people, a multi-talented people, a people...who require people...and that are, in numerous ways, the luckiest world in...the world. I'm sorry, sire, yet we don't stand a chance!But why?Well...let me placed it favor this...(sung)In any great adventureThat girlfriend don't want to loseVictory depends upon the human being that girlfriend chooseSo, listen, Arthur darling, very closely to this newsWe won't success on BroadwayIf you don't have any kind of Jews
You may have actually the ideal setsFill the phase with Penthouse PetsYou may have the loveliest costumes and also best shoesYou might dance and you may singBut I'm sorry, Arthur kingYou'll hear no cheersJust lots and also lots that boosBoo!You may have have butch men by the scoreWhom the audience adoreYou may even have some animals from zoosThough you've Poles and also Krauts insteadYou may have unleavened breadBut ns tell you, you are deadIf girlfriend don't have any type of JewsThey won't treatment if it's wittyOr whatever looks prettyThey'll merely say "it's shitty" and also refuseNobody will certainly go, sirIf it's not Kosher then no show, sirEven Goyim won't be dim sufficient to choosePut on mirrors that make males stareWith many girls in underwearYou may also have the best of reviews
You're act great!The audience won't care, sirAs lengthy as girlfriend don't dare, sirTo open up up ~ above BroadwayIf friend don't have any kind of Jews(dance sequence)You may have actually dramatic lightingOr several horrid fightingYou may even have part white men sing the blues!Your knights can be quite boysBut sadly we're all goysAnd the noise that you speak to singing you have to loseSo, in spite of your quite lightsAnd naughty girl in nasty tightsAnd the many impressive scenery you useYou may have actually dancing man a manoYou may carry on a pianoBut they will not provide a damn-oIf girlfriend don't have any kind of Jews!(dance sequence)

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HAY!(dance sequence continues)Hooooooooo-oy!Hooooooooo-oy!You may fill your play with gaysHave Nigerian girls in staysYou may also have part shiksas making stews!You haven't got a clueIf friend don't have actually a JewAll of your investments you room going to lose!There's a very tiny percentileWho enjoys a to dance gentileI'm sad to be the one v this negative news!But never mind her swordplayYou just won't success on BroadwayYou simply don't success on BroadwayIf girlfriend don't have any Jews!Arthur, deserve to you listen me?To get along ~ above BroadwayTo sing a tune on BroadwayTo hit the top on Broadway and also not loseI call you, Arthur kingThere is one crucial thing -There merely must be, merely must it is in Jews!There merely must be -Arthur to trust me -Simply have to be Jews!